The Contact email in my inbox caught my attention because they are so few and far between. Since starting my writing practice in 2018, I’ve often felt like I’m sowing seeds on barren ground. My blog got very little traffic and any messages I received were usually spam.
This one was different. I opened the Contact email and read the following:
Hello, I have been a loss of words to use to perform the wedding for my daughter. I read your article and your poem. It gave me the inspiration and courage to write the ceremony speech. I will be speaking your poem to my daughter on this special day on 09/01/24. I will give you the honor you deserve as the author. For the inspiration and confidence it gave me, I wish you all the blessings for you and your family.
Thank You Grateful for you sharing Hector
As I read his email, my eyes started getting misty.
I reread his words a second time. Then a third. As it slowly sunk in I’d made an impact on a reader, giving him inspiration and courage, it moved me deeply.
When my daughter asked me to perform her February 22, 2022, wedding last December, I felt honored yet woefully unprepared and inadequate to perform such a life altering ceremony. I hadn’t attended seminary or done divinity school studies; however, I’d lived with a lifetime of spiritual searching. The request sparked my curiosity, so I researched what I’d need to do.
There are several sites on the internet that offer ordination. The first thing I learned was it’s important to check with the state you’ll be officiating in because rules vary from state to state. Turns out Florida, where my daughter and her fiancée were planning their wedding, has no special requirements about who performs the ceremony. After reading through different state, local, and organization websites, ordination seemed like the right thing to do. I selected Universal Life Church, then purchased a wedding ceremony kit with scripts and certificates.
The scripts were wonderful, but less personal than we wanted in a ceremony. I wasn’t really sure where to start, so I sent the soon-to-be newlyweds some samples and asked them to share ideas how they wanted their ceremony to feel. The next time I saw them, I asked them specific questions: > How did you meet? > What initially drew you together? > What was your proposal like? > What do you like most about each other? > What’s the best adventure you’ve had together?
They also expressed to me how awesome it would be to be pronounced husband and wife at 2:22 PM. I laughed, thinking I’d be lucky if I even got close.
The hard part was putting together a ceremony that we all would be proud of while performing it in front of my partner, the groom’s family, my ex, and his wife. That thought resulted in writer’s block and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to write a ceremony worthy of the occasion.
The day before our flight to Florida, I put butt in seat and pen to paper. I reviewed how my daughter and her fiancée had met, fallen in love, and the love I’d witnessed between them, and it dawned on me…echo their words to each other to tell the story of their love.
I practiced the ceremony with my partner to get an idea of length, then the night before the wedding we rehearsed and fine-tuned the timing. I knew if we started the ceremony around 2:10 PM, as long as I kept myself together and spoke at a moderate pace, we could do it.
Then it was time for my ex and I to walk our baby girl down the aisle to her love.
The rest of the ceremony is a blur in my mind, but I pulled it off…and pronounced them husband and wife at 2:22 PM with my poem:
Long have you waited for this special day To gather us together and for each of you to say
You’re my person, I Love You, I’m yours to the end So as your parents and family, this advice we send
Stay open and honest, transparent and true There’s nothing more important in marriage to do
Be thrifty, work hard and obey all the laws Be kind, be faithful, and love each other’s flaws.
We’ve loved and supported each of you since a babe Now it’s your time with a daughter, a family you’ve made
So with joy in our hearts and a tear in our eyes I make this pronouncement to those far and wide
By the power invested in me by the state You’re now husband and wife, it’s legal, you’re life mates.
Now is the time to seal this love with a kiss Your first of many in legal wedded bliss!
Wishing you a lifetime of love & laughter, Love you much❣️
I struggled to write the ceremony and the subsequent blog post. As I’d watched the analytics over the years, I’d been amazed that story has been the most popular.
I wrote the blog post two and a half years ago and I’ve wanted to tell the rest of the story. But first, I had to answer Hector:
Dear Hector,
Thank you so much for your email. Your words touched my heart, and I’m thrilled my post was a help to you.
While the offer to credit me during the ceremony is appreciated, as one parent to another, please feel free to share the words as if you had written them yourself.
Best of luck to you and savor the experience…it’s all too fleeting. I’ll be thinking about you, your daughter, and her fiancée on Sunday, September 1st.
Wishing them a lifetime of love, laughter & happiness.
Such a great post! We had a wonderful officiate at our wedding and a fantastic experience collaborating with her on what she would write/say at the ceremony. I️ wrote my own vows. She helped my husband write his. Lovely poem!
Awww, this is so awesome!!! I love that Hector told you the impact you had on him and that you wrote him back!!! Now you're a part of a day they'll never forget. That's AMAZING.💖
Such a great post! We had a wonderful officiate at our wedding and a fantastic experience collaborating with her on what she would write/say at the ceremony. I️ wrote my own vows. She helped my husband write his. Lovely poem!
Awww, this is so awesome!!! I love that Hector told you the impact you had on him and that you wrote him back!!! Now you're a part of a day they'll never forget. That's AMAZING.💖